How to Win a Gun Control Argument in Five Tweets

This will probably be unpopular, but I must begin by saying I like Rosie O’Donnell. I know. I’m not supposed to. Fuck that noise; I think she’s a pretty awesome lady. Now, I think we all know her politics are more fucked up than a midget basketball team, but the few times I’ve had one on one conversations with her, she’s been delightful. We talked like moms talk. She brags about her kids. I brag about mine. We talk about the goofy shit they say and how parenting is an insane undertaking whether you’re a celebrity or a horse trainer.

But sometimes we are bound to disagree and when that happens it is my duty to take her to school. In a good Christian way, of course. A few days ago I was on twitter discussing a “woman’s right to choose” to pack as much heat as she wants to because this is America, goddammit. I used that wording to highlight the fact that the left is only “pro-choice” when it comes to vacuuming live babies out of healthy wombs, but demands to make all our other choices for us. Rosie didn’t agree with me. Observe.

I support a woman’s right to choose to send her children to a school that doesn’t make them sitting ducks by being a “gun free zone”.

— Stevie J. West (@StevieJWest) December 18, 2012

@steviejwest – i hear you stevie – no one will take that from you #believeincompromiseNRA

— Rosie O’Donnell (@Rosie) December 18, 2012

.@rosie I don’t believe I should have to compromise one of my most fundamental rights.

— Stevie J. West (@StevieJWest) December 18, 2012

@steviejwest – no one is asking u to – we have limits on driving speed – we would like some on shooting speed – so all can be safer

— Rosie O’Donnell (@Rosie) December 18, 2012

.@rosie Except you are asking me to compromise my rights and my safety. What’s worse, these “compromises” are proven failures. Ex: Chicago.

— Stevie J. West (@StevieJWest) December 18, 2012

@steviejwest – now stevie seems like u just wanna fight – listen to what i said – imagine that – compromise – the way the world works

— Rosie O’Donnell (@Rosie) December 18, 2012

.@rosie I’m not fighting. I’m respectfully explaining that rights are not something we compromise on.

— Stevie J. West (@StevieJWest) December 18, 2012

.@rosie Think of compromise in another context. You’re a huge marriage equality proponent. Would you compromise on civil unions?

— Stevie J. West (@StevieJWest) December 18, 2012

Annnnnnd….silence.

That’s how it’s done.